Mr.Borg rates the episodes from one (very bad) to five (very good) Borg Heads
The Expanse
Since Mr. Borg lives in Florida, I'm glad this is only fiction. After wiping out Disneyworld via the song stylings of an alien probe, the crew gets a call from the future revealing next seasons mission. Someone out there feels earthlings are a threat and must be exterminated before they destroy the universe. Now Enterprise must nip this unknown race of aliens (composed of many body forms according to TV Guide) before the aliens wipe the universe of humans. One can only hope this new mission creates exciting episodes to save the Trek franchise from course oblivion.
Bounty
Only seeing T'Pols primal urges made it worth the time to watch this episode (although in typical Enterprise fashion they fail to bring this situation to a just conclusion). The Klingon thing just has no legs in Mr. Borg's book.
Cogenitor
Another fluffy episode of rights and wrongs that never really gets off the ground. How many oppressed races can the Enterprise come across. We have had civil wars and second class aliens smack the Enterprises windshield more than most would want to see in seasons one and two.
The Breach
After Mayweather gets his episode, the Doc can not be far behind. In this character development episode, we learn more about the Denobulans past wars and lingering ethnic hatred of the Antarans.
Maybe this episode had to be done to develop Phlox, but I'm tired of the fluffy episodes from this and last season.
First Flight
After a great Borg episode, we get this one that falls totally flat. This episode made watching mold grow on cheese look exciting.
Regeneration
It takes the Borg to bring life into this series. Although it had a few kinks in the storylines, for the most part the Borg breath some life into this seasons episodes.
Cogenitor
Another fluffy episode of rights and wrongs that never really gets off the ground. How many oppressed races can the Enterprise come across. We have had civil wars and second class aliens smack the Enterprises windshield more than most would want to see in seasons one and two.
The Breach
After Mayweather gets his episode, the Doc can not be far behind. In this character development episode, we learn more about the Denobulans past wars and lingering ethnic hatred of the Antarans.
Maybe this episode had to be done to develop Phlox, but I'm tired of the fluffy episodes from this and last season.
Horizon
This episodes gives us some background on Mayweather's past. Was decent in its presentation of what makes Mayweather tic but the raider storyline was a little lame.
Judgement
I know this is a Klingon episode, but the whole thing was weak in the delivery. This episode sets the stage for parts of the final episode with Archers trial and easy escape from Klingon justice.
The Crossing
Roddenberry must be turning in his grave over this episode. After a group of dying noncorporeal creatures try to take over Enterprise and the crew to prolong their lives, Archer blasts them into oblivion. Seemed strange they did not try to work out an alternate plan to save this species.
=========================
Canamar
One thing about our fearless crew, they seem very prone to easily getting into civil wars and to be captured and put in prison camps. This week we find the Captain and Tucker captured by the Enolians (not to be confused by the Nintendo N64 game Ebolians) who mistake our two adventurers as smugglers. What they are accused of smuggling is never revealed but T'Pol gets the attention of the Enolians and demands the return of the magnificent two. With little resistance from the Enolian authorities, it's off to the rescue by intercepting the prison transport ship headed for the prison planet known as Canamar. Our heros are in electronic chains in the hold of the ship with an assortment of galactic bad guys similar to ConAir. Kind of looks like someone did a shakedown of the cantina in Star Wars to put this group together. (Mr. Borg notes this episode would have been improved by having the prisoners pulling warp oars much like a Roman boat of old to give this episode a classic look but I digress.) The Enolians send a message to the transport to release Archer and Tucker and just as this is about to take place the writers throw in a twist. Two of the prisoners take advantage of the situation to escape and overpower the inept guards on the ship. The leader of the prison break, Kuroda, enlists Archer to pilot the ship to a rendezvous with some friends. Archer then proceeds to send a distress message and pilot the ship with great ease. It never fails to amaze me how easy this crew adapts to alien technology to press all the right buttons to fly or fix just about anything they come across. Well…after thwarting some pursuit ships and flying to the Kuroda's coordinates, it seems they plan to ram the ship in this planets upper atmosphere resulting in the death of everyone except our bad guys to cover their tracks. Through the quick thinking of T'Pol this is thwarted when Reed and the Enolians surprise Kuroda and his Nausicaan pal and pull everyone off the ship as the transport heads for course oblivion. After another Archer boxing match (he does seem to get more punches per episode than Kirk ever did) with Kuroda, we see Kuroda head into the atmosphere. The episode ends as Archer confronts the Enolian leader about capturing people that may be innocent and its off to a new capture in a future episode.
The Episode PicturesFuture Tense
Ok, the temporal storyline is similar to the Kazons/Holo Deck in Voyager, the Dominion in DS9, and the Borg/Holo Deck in Next Gen. This episode skirted on this theme without totally degenerating into a Silik vs. Archer match. Basically, Enterprise comes across a
what appears to be an ancient craft with a mummified pilot with human genes (as well as Vulcan and just about everything else) that turns out to be a ship from the future. Enter the Suliban and the Tholians just to make it interesting. The episode gives enough twists and turns to make it one of the better episodes
in Mr. Borg's opinion. My only objection is why the future police would allow Archer to hold the encyclopedia of future ships but I guess this may be answered in a future episode.
The Episode Pictures are on the wayCease Fire
If it's Wednesday, it must be time for another civil war, regular war, or alien races having a tough time getting along. In this episode, the match is Andorians vs. Vulcans over a dark desolate rock located somewhere in space. How does the Enterprise
get involved, well Archer is called in to facilitate a truce between the Andorians (Jeffrey Combs as Shran returns) and the Vulcans. As you would expect, a fragile peace is brokered in the end.
The Episode PicturesStigma
When T'Pol did the mindmeld gig last season she got more than just a headache. It appears she contracted a disease (based on our AIDS) with all the accompanying social baggage.
During a medical conference attended by Phlox, the Doctor tries to find cures from the Vulcan attendees of the conference. The ending is pretty standard as the Doctor gets the research, T'Pol is outed and the Vulcans must face the reality of the disease within their population.
The Episode Pictures are on the wayDawn
Trip's shuttle craft gets hit by Zho'Kaan and both fall from the sky to land on the planet below. As fate would have it, the crafts fall within walking distance from each other (go figure). After the two of them beat each other to a pulp, they become worker bees to get a signal to Enterprise for retrieval. Kind of reminded me of Picard and Dathon in the Next Gen episode "Darmok" as far as being on another rock planet and each trying to understand the other.
The episode concludes with our dynamic duo being rescued by the alien race of Zho'Kaan.
The Episode PicturesThe Catwalk
If it's Wednesday, it must be another day of radiation or other cosmic force beating down the crew of the Enterprise.
Precious Cargo
If you get over the idiotic beginning of first contact and trust bestowed on a new race by the Captain, this episode was not that bad. I usually hate these "were trapped in a small space vehicle" episodes but at least in this one Tucker's fellow trapped passenger is better looking than Reed.
The Episode PicturesVanishing Point
Every Trek series has had an episode dealing with a transporter problem. Kirk and Kira Nerys had their evil twins, Next Gen had cellular disorders now Enterprise has trapped Hoshi in an alternate universe. Unlike Kirk or Kira, Hoshi has dropped into an alternate Enterprise not that different from the normal crew we have come to love. When she starts to disintegrate in the alt ship, the fun begins as the writers pull a fast one on us and flesh out she has indeed been living on another ship. Just to spice it up, they throw in an alien race trying to blow up the alternate ship just to make it interesting. All in all it was an ok episode compared to the previous three we have been dished up and far better than Nemesis (what a major disappointment - I hope this is the last time we see Data sing)
The Episode PicturesSingularity
Every Trek series has had an episode dealing with funky pollen, alien artifacts, radiation, bugs, or fill in the blank that has played havoc with the brains of Trek crews. This time it's radiation that creates a crew of anal-retentive buffoons flying aimlessly in space. The lone person on the ship immune from the harmful effects of the radiation is played by T'Pol. Main crewmembers are affected to varying degrees depending on their tasks prior to entering the danger zone. The Captain is working on a tribute to his father, Reed is working on improving the defense procedures, Hoshi is subbing in for the cook, Tucker is tasked with improving the Captain's chair, Mayweather has a headache, and the Doctor was getting ready to examine Mayweather's headache. All these activities become exaggerated for each person to the point you wish T'Pol would space them all. The funny part is the writers have developed the Reed character into such a psycho that it's very hard to tell his character has a problem. There was also an interesting twist with T'Pol having trouble trying to determine if everyone's behavior was normal or demented. Only the interaction between the Doctor and Mayweather held my interest. As their sub-plot progressed, you almost got to see Phlox perform a lobotomy on the Lieutenant saved only by the heroics of T'Pol and the Captain. Seems T'Pol figures out the problem and has to give Archer a cold shower and a cup of coffee to revive his faculties enough to help her pilot the ship outside of the range of the radiation. While this episode exceeded the pure pain of watching Data's possession in "The Mask", it did not surpass it by much.
The Episode Pictures are Coming SoonThe Communicator
This Episode Gets Mr. Borgs first Zero Borg Head Award Possibly the worst episode I have ever seen in the Trek universe. Reed somehow drops a communicator during a fieldtrip to this pre-warp planet. Now a plan must be hatched to get back to the planet to grab the offending device before it is used to alter the normal technology timeline of the planet. Archer and Reed travel down to the planet (another planet with a civil war going - this must be the sixth or seventh planet they have visited with a civil war going on) and visit the restaurant he dropped the communicator in. From this point on the episode degenerates into a black hole of pure buffoonery. Our dynamic duo take on the locals in a fist fight (how many fights has Archer been in the last season and a half - answer: far more than he should have). Instead of using their phase pistol to stun the locals and escape, they get beaten down by the locals who take their pistol and communicators. Ok, now the locals have multiple communicators and a phase pistol which seems far worse than blasting them and exiting stage left. After another torture scene for the Captian the Imperial Storm Troopers figure out they do not fit the local profile for internal organs or foreheads. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Trip and Mayweather recharge a Suliban pod with clocking technology that they just happen to have in a cargo bay to affect a rescue. When the locals get set to eliminate Cap and Reed our boys on the ship fire-up the pod and launch to the rescue. Even thought the ship still has transporters, Captain T'Pol never thinks of beaming the boys up or beaming a rescue team down to the surface. Just as the ropes are positioned on the necks of Cap and Reed the pod appears and the rescue rangers jump out and save our boys. Was this a idiotic episode or what? The Episode PicturesThe Seventh
After four great episodes in a row we fall further down the course oblivion. I'm sorry but this episode makes no sense within the Trek world. T'Pol is called into service by the Vulcan High Command to track down an operative that has gone AWOL from a mission several decades ago. Seems T'Pol was suppose to capture these altered-undercover Vulcans that failed to come in from the cold at the close of their mission. During her first attempt to capture the felons, T'Pol had to ice one of them. This dude tried to pull a piece on her and she responded with a pulse to the head. Unlike the normal Vulcans we have met in the past, T'Pol goes loopy and needs mental sedation to calm her angst from the shooting. Menos, the crime dog she is now after, realizes this and attacks her mentally after his capture. After several escapes from the premier team of Archer, Mayweather, and T'Pol our Mr. Menos shows his true color. Archer must provide mental support to T'Pol allowing her to complete the mission. The lack of strength in T'Pol defied the logical thinking of Vulcans and the constant escapes by Menos seemed almost comical. Other than looking good in a cat suit, why would the Vulcans send her on Enterprise with this type of mental defect?
The Episode PicturesMarauders
We meet the Klingons again.
The Episode PicturesA Night in Sickbay
The main storyline of this episode is Porthos has gone with the Captain to a meeting with a new alien race concerning a trade for a fuel rod. While on the planet, Porthos tinkles on a sacred tree and creates an intergalactic incident disrupting the negotiations. Why the Captain brings him to the surface of a new alien planet is beyond me (and don't give me that fresh air business). To complicate matters, Pathos picks-up a nasty alien bug creating the second storyline concerning the life and death struggles of our space beagle. As Doc Phlox tries to heal the K9, the Captain relocates to sickbay to be near his friend in need. While in sickbay, the Captain and the viewers get to know the Doc a little better. We find out he has some of the funkiest toenails of any Star Trek regular character. He also has a tongue that rivals Gene Simmons of KISS although I doubt Gene has to scrape his tongue every night to get rid of the slime (or maybe he does?). No wonder this guy always seems to have a date every Saturday night. In addition to his physical attributes, this guy likes to keep pets that eat his toenails and bat like creatures that like to give him a hard time.
This is another episode were the writers have cast Archer as a bull headed twerp when he refuses to meet the demands of the aliens to atone for Porthos fertilizing a sacred tree. To complicate matters, the writers have created a new twist between Archer and T'Pol. Seems as the Captain gets very little sleep worrying about his dog, he starts to dream of a relationship with T'Pol (move over Lt. Reed). Ok, so the Doc seems to be egging him on as he conducts psychoanalysis of our sleep deprived Archer but the whole concept seems manufactured like Janeway and Chakotay. Will be interesting to see if this carries on as the year progresses.
The episode concludes with a miracle transplant bringing Porthos back to life. Meanwhile the Captain gives into the alien demands and performs a ritual to counter the bad karma that Porthos created. An interesting aspect of the ritual is the near body double looks of Archer to Picard's headdress worn in "Insurrection" (obviously Archer has hair, but the look is very similar). Oh ya, and by the way, they get the fuel rod.
The Episode PicturesDead Stop
In this continuation of "Minefield", an automated repair facility puts the Enterprise and Lt. Reed back together again. But is the price to great? 200 Liters of Warp Plasma seems like a sweet deal but when the facility takes Ensign Mayweather to enhance its central processing unit, the Captain gets upset. Duping the repair facility, T'Pol and the Captain rescue the Ensign and destroy the facility (or did they?). Seems the station has replicator technology that not only duplicates a dead Mayweather, but also is capable of repairing itself. Could this be an early Borg facility?
The Episode PicturesMinefield
In this Archer and Reed episode, the Star Trek timeline is shredded by the writers concerning the Romulan Empire. A quest to explore a new planet lands the Enterprise in a Romulan minefield and the Enterprise takes a hit on one of the cloaked mines. While the crew assesses the damage, another mine attaches to the hull. Reed is tasked with disarming the mine. When he reaches the mine and begins to disarm it, the mine shoots a tendril through his leg. Archer comes to his aid but by cutting the tendril the mine will explode. Plan B involves Archer taking a stab at disarming the mine. During the disarming, Archer and Reed play on each other in a continuation of the dinner between the two that started the episode. Meanwhile back in the ship, the Romulans try to communicate with the crew but the translator fails to translate and Hoshi has been knocked-out when the first mine hit the ship. After more banter between Reed and Archer, Hoshi translates the Romulan message and determines they have claimed the planet for the Empire and warn Enterprise to hit the road or suffer the consequences. T'Pol has heard of the Romulans but offers no assistance to the crew on their history. One thing is clear, the Romulans do not value life as they tell Enterprise to jettison the section of the ship with the mine regardless of Reed and Archers position. Archer makes a plan to jettison the hull platting with the mine and use shields to save Reed when the mine detonates. Executing the plan flawlessly, the hull detaches, Archer cuts Reed off the mine, the mine explodes, and our dynamic duo are scooped up by Enterprise just before it escapes the Romulans. I have two complaints, first is the development of the Reed character as a total space weenie. Seems the space agency would weed a nut case like this out of the program. One can only wish they evolve him into a stronger character. The second complaint is the interaction with the Romulans, a minor encounter would be ok, but they see cloaked devices with the device they constructed in Shockwave (except it only seems to show mines and not ships) and spend a lot of time with them. Hard to imagine Picard knew very little about them in the final episode of season one.
The Episode PicturesCarbon Creek
T'Pol's great-grandmother crashlanded on earth in the 50's creating an interesting dinner story for Archer and Tucker.
The Episode PicturesShockwave Part 2
Archer, Daniels and the Enterprise crew battle Silik to put their universe back in order. This episode represented a very clean conclusion to the two-part storyline. I was surprised to see the TV ratings were half those of the premier episode last year.
The Episode Pictures